and I'm miserable. But, I have to push on. I have too much at stake to wallow in my own self pity. I did that for way too long, and now I have to get on with it.
--MorelaterZ--
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Update...
I officially increased my activity level on March 7, 2005, by starting classes at a local trade school. I think the enthusiasm I feel from getting out of the house and learning something I've always wanted to learn about, helps me in some ways, and hinders me in others.
I'm still exhausted everyday, but some days, I manage to get thru it all right. I still have a lot of pain, and nothing seems to help it over the long term. All of the drugs I'd been taking for the pain have all come under fire by FDA, so I can't get them any more. Now I'm down to Tylenol and Aleve, and those don't always help.
I'm still under a lot of stress, because I can't seem to please anyone. The only respite I get is when I'm out of the house either attending school, or working the occasional job I picked up a month ago, with which I'll be lucky to make $100.00 a month. And it all goes into the gas tank.
So, if you're reading this, and you have something to do with SSA, this whole blog is about my struggle with FMS and RA. I'm trying to help myself, but without some help from somewhere, moneywise, I'm not going to get any better. RA is a progressive disease. Without treatment, I may have deformed fingers and toes at some later point in my life. My every waking moment is spent in pain. If you only had an idea what I go thru each day, and how much it hurts just to get out of bed because of the RA and the FMS. I want to work, that's why I went back to school, but without being able to see doctors in the meantime, I may be in too much pain to get the jobs I've paid good money (most of it in student loans and grants, BTW) to learn how to perform.
I have good days and bad days, but all my days I am in some kind of pain.
Please help me. Please find in my favor this time. By January '06, I hope, I'll have a job so I won't have to rely on Disability and SSI for the rest of my life. But right now, I really need help. I applied for benefit originally on September 6, 2002. Three years is a long time to wait, don't you think?
--MorelaterZ--
I'm still exhausted everyday, but some days, I manage to get thru it all right. I still have a lot of pain, and nothing seems to help it over the long term. All of the drugs I'd been taking for the pain have all come under fire by FDA, so I can't get them any more. Now I'm down to Tylenol and Aleve, and those don't always help.
I'm still under a lot of stress, because I can't seem to please anyone. The only respite I get is when I'm out of the house either attending school, or working the occasional job I picked up a month ago, with which I'll be lucky to make $100.00 a month. And it all goes into the gas tank.
So, if you're reading this, and you have something to do with SSA, this whole blog is about my struggle with FMS and RA. I'm trying to help myself, but without some help from somewhere, moneywise, I'm not going to get any better. RA is a progressive disease. Without treatment, I may have deformed fingers and toes at some later point in my life. My every waking moment is spent in pain. If you only had an idea what I go thru each day, and how much it hurts just to get out of bed because of the RA and the FMS. I want to work, that's why I went back to school, but without being able to see doctors in the meantime, I may be in too much pain to get the jobs I've paid good money (most of it in student loans and grants, BTW) to learn how to perform.
I have good days and bad days, but all my days I am in some kind of pain.
Please help me. Please find in my favor this time. By January '06, I hope, I'll have a job so I won't have to rely on Disability and SSI for the rest of my life. But right now, I really need help. I applied for benefit originally on September 6, 2002. Three years is a long time to wait, don't you think?
--MorelaterZ--
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