Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Feelin' bleh...

Two weeks ago, I caught this awful cold, and I've still got it. Now my sinuses are infected and it's just wearing me out! I have no appetite to speak of, all I want to do is sleep (which for me is good, by why do I have to be sick to sleep well?), and I'm even more exhausted than usual.

On top of all this, I've been a flare for about as long, so the two together is not doing me any favors.

And, I've entered into another battle with the state of Oklahoma regarding my being disabled. I'm trying to get funds to go back to school so I can work again at some point (being retrained is what they call it), and the woman I talked to at the Dept. of Rehabilitative Services was not very encouraging. It's kind of like trying to get Disability and SSI through Social Security...they have to get copies of my medical records and crap like that, and I can expect an answer in about 60 days or less. Meanwhile, I've already enrolled in school and will start in the next couple of weeks. I've gotten a grant and a student loan, but I have to come up with a balance on my own, so that's why I went to DRS.

Why do I bring all this frustration upon myself? I know it's not good for me, but I want to go back to work, and for that, I have to go to school and learn new skills.

What can a gal with FMS to do to improve her lot in life? I'm tired of sitting around being unproductive. I'm not the kind of person who can sit by and watch the world pass me by. I wasn't put on this earth for inactivity. I don't want to depend on "the dole" to get me by. I want to get on with my life, and if it takes me going back to school and having to ask the state for help, they should be thrilled! I'd be one less disabled person they'd have to worry about.

Why can't they see it once my way? Everything Zen...I don't think so!

--MorelaterZ--

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