Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Gettin' by with a little flare.

This flare is the worst one I've had since the fall of 2002, when Saon came to live with me. At that time, I didn't know to call it a "flare", I just called it a bad day, or a bad week.

But this is the most pain I have been in since before my diagnosis. My hands, wrists, feet and ankles are killin me from the RA, my left knee and back from the OA and everywhere else by the FMS. I've actually had to take the Tylenol PM I bought a couple of times, but I was still sleepy from the effects all the following day.

I can barely write my name, I have headaches that I've never had before (I think they're migraines because they make me sick to my stomach they hurt so bad), and I'm just fatigued beyond belief. Just thinking about doing things wears me out. I don't know how I'm ever going to get thru my son's graduation on Friday. Even if I do get thru it, I will be exhausted for the rest of the weekend.

I just can't live my life like this. I used to be active and do things. Now I feel quite useless and redundant. I hate feeling like this. I want my active, can't wait to go out and do things life back! I don't want people to not believe I have this problem, or to feel sorry for me, or just not understand what I am going thru.

I want someone else to talk to about this besides my 18 year old. He's got a lot to think about and do now that he's going to college in the fall. The last thing he should be worring about is his mother and her medical problems.

Help me. Please, someone...

MorelaterZ--

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