Meanwhile...

I'm having a problem here.

I'm jumpy, forgetful, overly emotional, thinking weird and scary things, and just generally down in the dumper. And it's not just because of the holiday season...I've been feeling like this for quite some time, and I don't know if I can keep it together and under control for too much longer. If I didn't have this blog and my other one, writing things down, I don't know what would happen to me.

I know that the depression is related to the FMS and RA, and because I can't seem to get people to understand that I really do have a problem here. I know I need medical treatment, but at the present time, I cannot afford it. Meanwhile, my self esteem and my well being are slowly eroding away. All I want is peace of mind, and I fear it is not forthcoming fast enough.

January 20th is seemingly a life time away...and even that is no guarantee I'll get benefits. Just what the hell do people expect me to do? Self destruct?

--MorelaterZ--